15 Years Later

Chapter VIII

15 Years Later

Here we are June of 2013, 15 years later and this is the final chapter of a memorable and precious part of my life.  For those that know me, you know that I enjoy writing, but I don't think I could have wrote a more perfect story from that night.  I know without my double lung transplant and my 6-month battle through stage 4 cancer, I wouldn't be writing this today.  Sadly, it would be the final time I'd see Dawn in person.

As I mentioned before, Dawn never knew that I had Cystic Fibrosis (CF), or took enzymes when I ate to help digest my food, or spent 2.5 hours a day (at that time) doing inhaled breathing treatments.  She never knew I was hospitalized twice in 1997 and 1998 due to being sick, then going home on IV antibiotics for a week or so.  She never knew my struggles, my heartache for those that had passed on.  I wanted her to like me for me, and not having to worry about me, or being afraid to know me, knowing that someday I would die from CF, and more than likely not making it into my 30s.  She never knew I had 45% total function of my lungs at that time.  She never knew my lungs were basically dying a slow death.  Did I ever think about sitting her down and telling her the entire story?  Oh, you betcha.  A million times.  I mean, we were friends, and I didn't want that to change.

Once I got my prom pictures developed, I tried calling Dawn and left a message on her answering machine.  I wanted to drop by and give them to her.  Two weeks had passed and she never got back with me.  I knew she was bad about not returning phone calls, but one of her younger brothers or sisters could have deleted the message as well.  Either way, I just remember feeling like maybe it wasn't that important to her since it wasn't her prom.  As the days progressed, I felt empty inside and I thought maybe I should just hold on to the memories we shared together at WCA and prom.  I'm not sure why we never got back in contact.

Honestly, I still have the photos sealed in an envelope with Dawn's name on them.  They've never been opened. I kept the envelope sealed in a ziploc bag, so the envelope hasn't aged. UPDATE: December 2014 I sent Dawn those photos and created a scrapbook featuring a copy of those photos, and the one I colored from page one. Hopefully she received the package.

To my knowledge Dawn did get married and had two kids.  I believe now she's divorced. Enclosed is a recent photo of Dawn and her two precious kids.  Hard to believe 15 years ago we were two kids ourselves, well. . .  19.  We're now 34.

I actually saw Dawn for the first time this past winter 2012.  She (at the time) was working at our local salvation army store here in Highland.  I know it was her, but her hair was blonde.  I was on the other aisle and I heard a voice that I recalled from 14 years ago and I went to take a peak and sure enough, it was Dawn.  She was nearly 5 feet away from me.  Then a bit later she was over by my Mom and I think my Mom had asked her a question about an item.  I walked over to my Mom and said.

"Do you know who that was?"

My Mom didn't know the girl.  I continued.

"Remember Dawn Portman, my prom date?"

Then my Mom remembered who she was.  Dawn never met my parents, and obviously Dawn didn't remember me either, because I had passed by her a few times.  I mean, who would?  It was 15 years ago.  So Dawn must have been living in Highland or this area within the past year.

Me being the very shy person that I am, I didn't say anything to her.  That was a totally different life and most people don't like to look back, and what would I say to her?  She doesn't even know me now.  I'm a distant memory, like tiny pebble rocks on the shoreline.  The waves come crashing in and sweep'em away.  There's no evidence that they were even there.

She no longer works there, at least to my knowledge.  I never see her there anymore.

Dawn was one of those people I thought of while on the operating table before my double lung transplant.  I had about 3 hours to think, and thinking I did.  I had wished that I had given those pictures to her.  I know, it sounds so silly, wishing you had given prom pictures to someone while your life is about to be on the line.  I just felt bad that I never gave them to her.  Looking back, I never pushed it, because I just felt maybe she didn't care and she had a life of her own. NOTE: See several paragraphs above at the purple update.

So if you're reading this and don't know, or don't want to go to prom.  GO!  You never know who you'll meet.  A pretty girl might be sitting alone in a chair wishing her life could change. Maybe YOU could be that change.  My time is over, my prom is done.  Your's isn't.  Go and enjoy your prom like I enjoyed mine.  
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I wish the best for Dawn, whatever life brings her. She truly was a blessing that wasn't in disguise.  I hope she can find happiness in life.  Thanks for that last dance and maybe we can dance again on the other side.

Dawn and her kids

March 2013

THE END

'Come Away With Me'
By Norah Jones
Year: 2002
One of my favorite slow songs