Dinner At Jim & Cynthia's
I figured it would be closer for me to drive to his house in Clarkston instead of Sterling Heights, that's when he wrote and told me no can do (his exact words). That's when he told me he lived in Sterling Heights with his girlfriend. He told me him and Cynthia were going to cook me dinner to celebrate my birthday. I thought that was special, and I was excited to meet Cynthia and to see Jim again, whom I hadn't seen in several months since the Bavarian Inn Lodge outing.
I met up with Jim at the mall. I knew who he was as he pulled up beside me in his Jimmy (I believe it was a dark Jimmy) and I greeted him with a hug. We headed to his house and Cynthia was there to greet me. I still remember looking on the wall and seeing a large portrait photo of Mike, his son, wearing a Pittsburgh Penguins NHL hockey jersey. He told me Mike was a big Penguins fan. Jim and I headed off to the store to buy some things for dinner. He took me a store in Sterling Heights that sold fish, crabs, fruits and veggies. We had steak for dinner.
Prior to dinner, Jim gave me a gift for my birthday. I explained to them that they didn't have to get me anything, a nice dinner was beyond a wonderful gesture. I opened the gift and it was a white sweat shirt and embroidered was our CF camp mascot (beaver) and below that it read Camp Onkoi Benek. I loved the sweatshirt, (especially since it was custom made), but looking back, I feel bad, because I only wore it once or twice, because it was white and I was afraid I'd get something on it.
Memories from that day with Jim and Cynthia are hard to recall, but I do remember Jim's computer/business room. We went through camp photo albums and he had a photo of me on his desk. I could tell CF camp and the CF community meant a lot to Jim. At that time he was a member of Michigan Pulmonary Disease Community Incorporated (MPDCI), the same group of folks who spent hours fundraising and putting on Camp Onkoi Benek for 25 years. At the time, Jim worked on the bulletin newsletter known then as the Beaver Bulletin, which was sent via postal mail every 3 months. That day was special and I'll forever hold it in the palm of my hand. That was the last and only time I saw Cynthia. I think of her from time to time.
MICHINDOH
Jim and I had been communicating via e-mail, which was much easier and it gave my hand a rest from writing to so many of my camp friends, which I had been doing since 1988.
Late Spring of 2000, Jim sent me some information on MICHINDOH conference center, which is a Christian camp and conference center in Hillsdale, MI, which MPDCI rented the facility in 1998, 1999, and 2000. Onkoi Benek Family Retreat was much different than CF camp with more infection control guidelines, but there were two sessions (like CF camp) for the cepacia positive and cepacia negative campers. Jim wanted me to go in 2000 and I was on board.
I had a lot of fun during those few days and saw several people that I hadn't seen since camp '96, which include Carol Carney, Angela Murtagh, Maggie Marcus and Neal Dantes, who was only there for a day or two. I last saw Jim Meyer in August 1996, Ski back in 1999, along with Ann Marie Jewell. I last saw Jamie Kloote back in the Fall of 1997. This was the last time I saw Jamie, as she died 17 months later on November 12th 2001. One of the highlights from those few days was receiving a hair cut from Angela. She gave me a short hair cut and my hair has been short ever since, though now, I buzz it down myself.
MICHINDOH (abbreviated for Michigan (MICH), Indiana (IND) and OHIO (OH) was quite far from my house. It was a 2-hour drive to Hillsdale, MI. This would be the final year for the Onkoi Benek Family Retreat. No other function like it has been held since 2000. Angela did put on a throwback type weekend at the old camp facility from July 23rd - 26th 2015. I didn't attend.
Death of A Friend
Jim and I continued to communicate and on Sunday, April 8th 2001 I received the call that in many ways changed my life. Jim called to tell me that my CF friend Christy White had passed away. I hadn't talked to Christy in 9 months. I remember Jim's voice like it was yesterday and I could tell he regretted being the one to tell me about Christy passing away on Saturday, April 7th 2001. Christy and I were close on many levels, but I had never went that long without communicating or hearing from her.
I planned on attending Christy's funeral and called Jim the next day and asked if he was going to attend. He didn't know Christy that well, but told me he did take her home from a camp function a few years back. He told me if I was going, he'd go, and so we both went together.
Jim picked me up around 8 AM on Wednesday, April 11th 2001 and we headed to Flint, MI. Before that we stopped off at Brown Funeral Home off Davison Rd in Flint (which has since closed) so Jim could pick up a funeral memorial card or two for those that couldn't attend Christy's funeral. I had no clue who he was picking them up for, but he asked if I'd be ok, and that he'd be back in a bit.
There I was, alone with Christy, and I was glad I had those 15 minutes to say my goodbyes before she was moved to the church. To say you could hear a pin drop in that funeral home was an understatement, because no one was there besides the funeral home director. The only other CFer that attended was Ann Maire Jewell and her Mom. During the service, I looked over at Jim and saw a tear come from his eye. I had never seen Jim cry before.
I still remember hugging Jim and remember how his suit felt. After Jim passed away, I was bothered by the notion of me asking him (in a round about way) if he'd come with me to the funeral, forgetting all about Mike passing away and him having to go through those memories again, or those feelings returning. Even though Christy's passing was 5 years before Jim's, I thought maybe it might've been too much for him, but he seemed to be fine after the funeral.
Myself, Jim, Ann Marie, and her Mom went across the street and got something to eat. It was nice seeing them again. I hadn't seen Ann-Maire since MICHINDOH back in July 2000. I'd see her again in 2002 and once again in 2003 prior to her family moving to North Carolina.
As for Jim and myself, that would be the last time I'd see him. From time to time I'd ask how Cynthia was doing. His response would be.
"She be good."
Anytime I'd ask how she was doing, it was always a short answer and nothing more.
For the next six years Jim and I kept in contact, but toward those later years, we didn't keep in contact as often. Even if we had, I know Jim wouldn't have told me what was going on in his life.
Jim's Suicide
It was a day or so after October 24th 2006, and I remember my Mom and I hearing on the local news about a fire that occurred off Everest Dr. in Clarkston, MI. Since I wrote to Jim quite a bit since 1995 (when we met at CF camp), I instantly recognized the street name. We didn't get the whole news story, thus I looked it up online via our local county paper (Oakland Press) and read the report.
The article stated that a 63 year old Clarkson resident (with address and street name) set his home on fire and committed suicide by putting a pistol to his head. The article mentioned (if I recall correctly) the fire (they believed) started in a bedroom. To my knowledge, no one from CF camp (campers or adults) had been to his home in Clarkston.
Anyway, neighbors spoke about Jim and they all had one thing in common. They really didn't know him, just that his kids grew up in the home and that years ago his son passed away. They mentioned he was a private person and kept to himself.
I learned quite a bit after Jim's death. MPDCI hadn't heard or spoken to Jim for a year or so, and when I talked to Debbie Ajini (CFer and member of MPDCI) she was shocked to hear that Jim was communicating with me, because she explained to me that they hadn't heard from him in over a year. I told her the last time I heard from him was 3 weeks before his death, and when I told her about his suicide, she told me she thought that's how Jim died. It wasn't a shock (to her) that his death was a suicide.
I'm not sure how it occurred, but Debbie talked to Jim's daughter, Shannon. WHAT? Jim had a daughter? That's exactly what I thought. I don't think anyone knew he had a daughter, whom at the time was 30. I don't know what occurred or what the fall out had to do with, but she (when I communicated with her) told me she hadn't heard from her Dad or spoken to him in 10 years. She would've been about 20 or 21.
MPDCI hadn't heard from Jim due to a fall out. I was told it had something to do with missing funds (money) and at the time (I believe) Jim was in charge of finances within the organization and it sounded like Jim was having issues even a year before his suicide, in-which they tried to get him help, but he declined. It sounded like Jim got upset and didn't want anything to do with anyone from MPDCI. I never knew about a fallout or any issues at the time between Jim and MPDCI.
Jim and Cindy broke up a month or so before Jim's suicide. Jim Meyer and Debbie were the only two I told about how Jim committed suicide. I recall Ann Jewell asking me how Jim died, and I told her he committed suicide and nothing more.
According to Google Map, a home was rebuilt on the property in 2008. It looks nice.
10 years have passed since Jim's death, and I think of him from time to time. I'll always remember our last conversation 3 weeks prior to his death, as I asked him what some of his favorite songs were. He enjoyed Van Halen (David Lee Roth era), so we both had something in common. He told me one of his favorite songs was 'Last Date' by the late Floyd Cramer from 1960. I'm not sure what the song meant to him, because I knew Jim was a private person, so I didn't ask. Whatever the song meant to him, I knew it was happier times for Jim.
I remember telling Shannon how much her Father did for MPDCI and how he helped out at CF camp and was there for everyone. She was surprised to hear about the things Jim did for the local CF community. She was glad to hear that he was that kind of person toward us.
I'll always remember Jim for the person he was from 1995 until his death. Though, there was a lot that many others didn't know. I think if we hold onto the good memories we shared with Jim, that's what he would've wanted.
I leave behind one of Jim's favorite songs. 'Last Date' (1960) by country legend Floyd Cramer.
MPDCI hadn't heard from Jim due to a fall out. I was told it had something to do with missing funds (money) and at the time (I believe) Jim was in charge of finances within the organization and it sounded like Jim was having issues even a year before his suicide, in-which they tried to get him help, but he declined. It sounded like Jim got upset and didn't want anything to do with anyone from MPDCI. I never knew about a fallout or any issues at the time between Jim and MPDCI.
Jim and Cindy broke up a month or so before Jim's suicide. Jim Meyer and Debbie were the only two I told about how Jim committed suicide. I recall Ann Jewell asking me how Jim died, and I told her he committed suicide and nothing more.
According to Google Map, a home was rebuilt on the property in 2008. It looks nice.
10 years have passed since Jim's death, and I think of him from time to time. I'll always remember our last conversation 3 weeks prior to his death, as I asked him what some of his favorite songs were. He enjoyed Van Halen (David Lee Roth era), so we both had something in common. He told me one of his favorite songs was 'Last Date' by the late Floyd Cramer from 1960. I'm not sure what the song meant to him, because I knew Jim was a private person, so I didn't ask. Whatever the song meant to him, I knew it was happier times for Jim.
I remember telling Shannon how much her Father did for MPDCI and how he helped out at CF camp and was there for everyone. She was surprised to hear about the things Jim did for the local CF community. She was glad to hear that he was that kind of person toward us.
I'll always remember Jim for the person he was from 1995 until his death. Though, there was a lot that many others didn't know. I think if we hold onto the good memories we shared with Jim, that's what he would've wanted.
I leave behind one of Jim's favorite songs. 'Last Date' (1960) by country legend Floyd Cramer.
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