Death Of An Angel On Earth

Chapter VII

Death Of An Angel On Earth

Sadly, that was the last time I saw Margaret and the last year her and Liz attended camp.  I never knew the reason why they never attended camp again. It could be because Margaret had/picked up Cepacia, which for those that don't know is basically a nasty bug that CFers can pick up that is resistant to a lot of medications. No one ever told me the reason, nor did I ask.  Liz did come and visit at camp 1991, but just for the day.

Liz never returned to camp after 1990 (for the entire week), though it could have been because she got Cepacia from Margaret, since both lived in the same household.  Though, neither attended the second session of camp (Cepacia positive) either, as 1991 was the first year that there were two sessions, thus the theme was 'Back-To-Back'

Five years would pass, and we all continued to keep in contact.  I headed into my teenage years. I had several girlfriends, many friends, but I never once forgot about Liz and Margaret.

There I was living my life like a normal 16 year old, well. . .  a 16 year old who was helping a neighbor down the street.  It was a misty April day.  I believe it was the first week of April and my day was going great.  I was in a wonderful relationship with Melissa Perfetto-Adamson (pictured on the upper right side of my blog with the hearts around it) and we had been together for 7 months.  I was a freshman and she was a sophomore, both the same age.

I headed home. I was tired. As I walked in my Mom told me I got a letter from Liz.  I was pretty happy.  She told me that I needed to sit down, she had something to tell me.  She told me that Margaret had passed away.

"What, huh?"

That was the only thing I could get out of my mouth.  I remember my heart was pounding. My mouth got really dry. She handed me the letter and I started reading it.  It was addressed to my parents and so was the envelope.  Liz mentioned that Margaret died from an acute lung infection and I'd later learn that she was too bad to get listed for a double lung transplant.  Margaret was only 26.

My stomach felt like It had been kicked over and over again.  Margaret was the first real close friend (well, close to me) that had died from CF.  Joel Rabideau was another CFer that I knew that passed away in 1991, but this one hit me real hard.  This was the first, but gosh, I had hopped it would be the last.  I'd experience it 20 more times.

I didn't cry right then and there, it was still sinking in, and the thought of not seeing her, talking to her, writing to her ever again hadn't sunk in.  I must have read that letter about 10 times over and over again.  I still couldn't believe it.  I didn't even know she was sick, and the fact that she had passed away 3 weeks prior to me receiving the letter from Liz.

I remember going into my room that night and shutting the door.  Usually I went to bed at 10 PM on a school night, but I flipped on my radio, played the song you're currently hearing, and read all of Margarets letters that she wrote me through the years.  One minute I was a 10 year old boy with a huge smile on my face, the next I was a 16 year old drowning in my own tears.  I stayed up for the next 4 hours just crying and remembering all the times I had spent with Margaret.

Margaret died on March 11th 1995. I remember at camp '95 I was on my bunk looking out the window, visioning Margaret walking by and waving.  I do remember crying that night at camp and just remembering Margaret and the time we spent together.

When Melissa saw me the next morning at school, she knew something was wrong, because my eyes were red and puffy looking.  I told her what had happened and about Margaret.  I remember that morning (after I found out Margaret had passed away,) I just put on my pants, a lime green sweatshirt, and took my meds and went off to school.  I didn't even really care to do anything else that day.  I just knew life wasn't going to be the same, as apart of me had died.

In the letter Liz asked my parents if I wanted to I could call her and talk to her.  I remember calling that night or the next day.  I'm not sure what we talked about, but I could only imagine the pain she was in, losing not just your sister, but your twin.

What got me through those first 3 months?  Van Halen.  Each and every morning I would listen to 'Not Enough' (current song playing) on the way to and from school.  Sometimes I'd listen to the song several times in row.  By that summer I went out and bought the CD Van Halen: Balance, because my tape was wearing out quickly.

Continue. . .

'Not Enough' by Van Halen (1995)